Jokes News

An employment interviewer for a big company in Atlanta was talking to an attractive, young woman applying for a job. Looking over the application form, the interviewer noticed that the girl had not answered one important question concerning transportation to and from work.

“What about your bus line?” the interviewer asked her.

“I must have overlooked that one,” came her reply. “It’s 36C.”

A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting.

“How are we faring?” asks the king.

“Sire,” replies the knight, “I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west.”

“What?!” shrieks the king. “I don’t have any enemies to the west!”

“Oh!” exclaimed the embarassed knight. “Well, you do now…”

A horny young man went to a brothel. The lady at the counter asked him what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available.

Lady–”On the the first floor, we have the ex-models who are all slinky and sexy. On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses who are are all buxom and beautiful. On the third floor, we have our ex-teachers, who…”

Man–”Say no more! Lead me to the third floor!”

Lady–”Are you sure? I’m surprised that you would prefer ex-teachers to ex-models and ex-actresses.”

Man–”It’s obvious, ma’am …teachers always make you do something over and over again…until you’re perfect at it!”

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None they’d rather do it in the back seat of a car.

What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are a buck-fifty, and deer nuts are under a buck.

For years I lived in places with no trees, so I was thrilled to move to a home in a forest. When a tree shoot began to grow next to our front path, I was delighted, and I pampered the sapling by fertilizing, watering, and offering tender loving care. Yet it appeared to weaken. I poured out more fertilizer, but it still struggled for life. I was baffled. One evening when my room mate and I arrived home, she yanked the tree out of the ground. Incredulous, I asked, “Why did you do that?” “That stupid tree,” she replied. “I’ve been feeding it weedkiller for weeks and it just wouldn’t die!”

Fu, Bu, and Chu immigrated to the US from China. They decided to become American Citizens, and “Americanize” their names.

Bu - called himself “Buck.”

Chu - called himself “Chuck.”

Fu had to go back to China.