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Recently, a 93 year old woman’s husband passed away at the old age of 91. The two were very close and she hated every second she lived without her husband. In fact, she was so depressed that she came to the decision that she wasn’t going to live either and that she’d kill herself to be with her husband.
She wanted to make sure that she did it right so that she wouldn’t screw up and become a lemon and a burden on her family. So, she called her doctor. She asked him, “Doc, where is my heart?” The doctor replied, “It’s under your left breast.” She didn’t want him to get suspicious, so she immediately said “Okay.” and hung up the phone.
The next day, the hospital recieved a call reporting an old lady with a gunshot wound to her knee.
This joke is filed under Wedding.
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The old lady called the police complaining of an indecent exposure!
When the police arrived, she said: The man across the street is always walking around his house naked! Exposing his genitalia and everything!
The Officer takes a look and says: Madam! All I can see of him is his neck and his head! He is not exposing himself!
NO! Stand atop the fridge and you’ll see!
This joke is filed under Funny Stories.
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A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, ” Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn’t really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was farting because they don’t smell and are silent.”
The doctor says, “I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week.”
The next week the lady goes back. “Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts … although still silent… stink terribly.”
The doctor says, “Good! Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s start working on your hearing.”
This joke is filed under Medical.
