Jokes News

These two guys are sitting in a pub, getting hammered. One turns to the other and asks, “So, whe’re ya from?”

“I’m from Dublin”, the other replies. “Dublin!, me *hic* too…bartender, get us a beer!”

A moment later he asks again, “Where did ye *hic* go ta school?” The man answers, “St. Mary’s, *belch* graduated in ‘46.”

“St. Mary’s? 46!?”…exclaims the man, “Tarbender, *hic-belch* get us another beer!”

“So, what part of Dublin did ya *belch* grow up in?”

“The three hundred *hic* block of Baily street,” the man answers.

“THREE HUNDRED BLOCK OF BAILY STREET…! UNBELIEVABLE!!! Tarbender, give us another *hic* beer!”

Another patron asked the bartender, “What’s all the commotion about?”

The bartender says, “Aw it’s just the Murphy twins getting drunk again…”

A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his fiftieth birthday, so during this party he grabs the mic and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. “I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.”

So the party continues with no events in the pool, until SUDDENLY, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened, and in the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, wet and soaked.

The millionaire grabs the mic and says, “I am a man of his word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?” the millionaire asks.

The guy grabs the mic and says, “Why don’t we start with the name of the idiot that pushed me in!”