Jokes News

Q: What’s the difference between brown nosing and shit-faced?

A: Depth perception.

My agent has been able to get my name permenently displayed up in lights in every single theatre and cinema in the country.

He changed my name to “Exit.”

A blonde Texas city girl married a rancher. One morning on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to his new bride, “The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnant one of our cows today. I drove a nail in the two-by-four just above the cows stall in the barn. When he gets here, pease show him where the cow is ok.” The rancher leaves for the fields.
The artificial insemination man shows up and the blonde bride shows him the stall where the cow is. Impressed that she isn’t just another ditzy blonde, the man askes her, “How did you know this is the cow to be bred?” “Easy! by the nail above its stall.” “What’s the nail for?” “I think to hang your pants on”