Memoirs of a Hillbilly
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Loading ...LIFE magazine sends out one of its reporters to the Appalachian Mountains to gather life stories from the people living in those mountains. When the reporter reaches the area, he climbs up a mountain and there he encounters an old man sitting on a rocking chair in the front porch of his log cabin.
“Good morning, sir!” says the reporter. “I’m a reporter from LIFE magazine. I’m here to gather life stories from the folks living in this area. Do you have any memorable stories to tell?”
The old man thinks for a while and then says with a smile, “I remember the day when my neighbor’s sheep got lost in yonder mountains. So me and the boys went off looking for that darn sheep and we brought along some food and moonshine. When we found that sheep, we took turns humping it under the lemon tree. We had a grand time eating, drinking and fornicating.”
The reporter is so dumbfounded by what he has just heard that it takes a while before he can say anything. Then he tells the old man, “That’s, ahh, an, ahh, interesting story, sir, but I can’t use that in the magazine. Do you have any other memorable stories to tell?”
“Let’s see,” the old man tries to remember something and then he grins as he narrates the story. “I remember the day when my neighbor’s daughter got lost in yonder mountains. So me and the boys went off looking for that darn girl and we brought along some food and moonshine. When we found that girl, we took turns humping her under the lemon tree. We had a great time eating, drinking and fornicating.”
This exasperates the reporter who says in a frustrated voice, “Listen, sir! My magazine won’t allow even that story to be printed. How about some sad stories? Do you have any sad stories to tell?”
This time, the old man looks sad and says, “Well, I remember the day when I got lost in yonder mountains …”
Tags: good morning sir, appalachian mountains, front porch, grand time, lemon tree
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