A high level executive sits at a local bar one night and orders a drink. Out of the corner of his eye, the bartender notices the man speaking in to the palm of his hand, as if he were giving orders to a secretary.
“Who were you talking to?” the bartender asks the executive, thinking the man was having a breakdown.
The executive stretches out his left hand and shows the bartender a cellphone keyboard encrusted into his left hand. “It’s the latest in technology”, the executive explained, “I had a cellphone encrusted in my left hand-now i don’t have to worry about leaving it at home or in the office anymore. I’ll show you.”
The executive asks the bartender his home phone number and proceeds to dial. Much to his amazement, the bartender’s wife was at the other end of the line. “Wow!”, said the bartender to his amazement and continued working.
Later that evening, the bartender noticed the executive went into the bathroom and had not come out in half an hour. Worried something had gone wrong, he ventured in after the executive. Much to his surprise, the executive was completely naked against the wall while clenching a roll of toilet paper between his buttcheeks.
“What’s wrong!?” the bartender shouted.
“Oh nothing”, said the executive, “I’ve just been waiting for a fax from my secretary for the past half hour!”
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