A newfie and a black man were both admiring their newborn babies at the hospital nursery. The newfie looks at the black guy and says, “Can I ask you a question?”

The black guy says sure so the newfie says, “This is our 2nd child. We really want a black child but they keep turning out white.”

The black guy looks at the white newfie and says, “So what is your question?”

Newfie says, “Well what are we doing wrong?”

The black guy looks at him in disbelief but decides to play along. “Well, is your cock 16 inches long?”

Newfie says, “Oh no, it’s not that big!”

So the black guy says, “Well, is your cock 25 inches around?”

The newfie, again embarrassed, says, “Oh no, it’s not that big around!”

Black guy says, “Well that’s your problem — you’re letting too much light in!”

Kellogg’s is coming out with a new cereal for impotent men.

It’s called “Nut N Raisin, Honey!”

Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be $6.00 per person. “However, if you’re over 65,” he said, “the price will be only $5.50.”

From the back of the congregation, a woman’s voice rang out, “Do you really think I’d give you that information to save 50 cents?

This isn’t exactly a joke in itself, but it’s a PRACTICAL JOKE you can pull on your friends and fellow “onliners”.

Tell them to click on the following web site:

http:adam.cheshire.net~bcdlepisto

What will happen, is the person who does so will have to click 88 TIMES to exit that site! The only other way to exit it, is to TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER!

It’s 100% harmless and doesn’t contain a virus, or anything like that.

Try it yourself, and have a good laugh!

There once was a lawyer who was so fanatical about his golf game that he used to play every day. One morning he had played the first hole and was just about to tee off the second, when he saw the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen putting on the first.

The lawyer waited until the woman had reached the second tee and asked if she would like to join him and they could finish the round together. To his surprise the woman agreed and they played the remaining holes. Not only was this woman beautiful, she was also a good golfer.

When they completed their round, the lawyer told the woman that, not only was he a lawyer, but he was also a cordon bleu chef and wine buff.

He invited her back to his place for a meal and a few drinks. The woman accepted enthusiastically and off they went. Back at the house the lawyer cooked a magnificent meal. In fact it was more than just cooking it was a performance to behold. They enjoyed good food, good wine and good conversation.

After the meal, the woman repaid the lawyer with the best oral sex he had ever experienced. The lawyer was so taken by the beauty and skill of this woman and desired her to no end.

He then asked if she would like to play golf the following morning, to which she agreed. Once again they enjoyed a great game of golf, a magnificent evening meal and once more the woman performed sensational oral sex on the lawyer.
This went on for weeks when the lawyer finally said to the woman, “Listen, the golf and the company have been fantastic! But, there are only so many performances a man can take. When are we going to have sexual intercourse?”

“We can’t,” said the woman. “Why not?” came the reply.

“Because I’m a transvestite” replied the woman.

“YOU BITCH!” screamed the lawyer, “……..I CAN’T BELIEVE that you’ve been playing off the LADIES TEE FOR THE LAST THREE WEEKS!”