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Bricklayer’s Poor Planning

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This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. This is this Bricklayer's report ... a true story. Dear Sir; I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back onto me.

the stpd blond

Posted in Blonde
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how do you make a blond laugh on friday tell her the joke on wednesday



pepito doesnt know where the eggs fell

Posted in Funny Stories
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (10 votes, average: 4.1 out of 5)
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One day pepito’s mom told pepito to go buy some eggs in the store so he went. While pepito was walking to the store he saw that a guy got ran over by a train. Pepito went to call his mom and he told his mom look a hand over there a hand over here a leg over there a leg over here and the head over there. Then pepito’s mom said” and the eggs? ” So pepito said ” I don’t know where they landed”

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  • Shut Up Sir!

    Posted in Funny Stories
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    shut up,manners and trouble walkin dong d street,den trouble gon 2 look 4 he self(look 4 trouble),a few mins. later shut up and manners realise dat trouble gone.so shut up tell manners lewwe go in d police station nah.so dey gone.shut up tell manners to stay outside d door,while shut gorn inside. d police say ”ok we’ll need to know yuh nam,son.” ‘’shut up,sir” shut up said.”boi doh tell me shut up,i want your name.”ok shut up,sir.” ”where yuh manners boi?” manners outside,sir” ”u lookin 4 trouble?” ”yes sir”

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  • Bridal Shower Joke

    Posted in Wedding
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    At a bridal shower, every guest was asked to introduce herself and explain how she met Kimberly, the bride-to-be.

    “I met Kimberly while dating her brother Bob,” the first young woman said. The second girl gave the same answer. The third woman said she was Bob’s current girlfriend.

    An older woman that was sitting next promptly said. “It’s nice to meet all of you,” she announced with a grin. “But I think I’d really rather meet Bob.”

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  • blonde

    Posted in Blonde
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (10 votes, average: 3.6 out of 5)
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    Help,Help!! said the blonde “my house is on fire!!”. the man down the street said call the cops. she was dialing she pushed the nine and said “where’s the eleven?”

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