The pentagon recently found it had too many Generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any General who retired straight away, his full annual benefits PLUS $10,000.00 for every inch measured in a straight line along the retiring General's body between two points he chose. (Something Congress came up with!) The first General accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. 6 feet. He walked out with a check for $720,000.00. The second General asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. 8 feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.00. Meantime, the first General had tipped off the third. When he was asked where to measure, he told the pension man. "From the tip of my penis to the tip of my balls." The pension man said that would be fine but he'd better get the Medical Officer to do the measuring. The Medical Officer arrived and asked the General to "drop 'em," which he did. The Medical Officer placed the tape on the tip of the General's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he said, "Where are your testicles?" The General replied, "In Vietnam."
Laugh for Fun.- Funny, Blonde, Pepito, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
how do you make a blond laugh on friday tell her the joke on wednesday
One day pepito’s mom told pepito to go buy some eggs in the store so he went. While pepito was walking to the store he saw that a guy got ran over by a train. Pepito went to call his mom and he told his mom look a hand over there a hand over here a leg over there a leg over here and the head over there. Then pepito’s mom said” and the eggs? ” So pepito said ” I don’t know where they landed”
shut up,manners and trouble walkin dong d street,den trouble gon 2 look 4 he self(look 4 trouble),a few mins. later shut up and manners realise dat trouble gone.so shut up tell manners lewwe go in d police station nah.so dey gone.shut up tell manners to stay outside d door,while shut gorn inside. d police say ”ok we’ll need to know yuh nam,son.” ‘’shut up,sir” shut up said.”boi doh tell me shut up,i want your name.”ok shut up,sir.” ”where yuh manners boi?” manners outside,sir” ”u lookin 4 trouble?” ”yes sir”
At a bridal shower, every guest was asked to introduce herself and explain how she met Kimberly, the bride-to-be.
“I met Kimberly while dating her brother Bob,” the first young woman said. The second girl gave the same answer. The third woman said she was Bob’s current girlfriend.
An older woman that was sitting next promptly said. “It’s nice to meet all of you,” she announced with a grin. “But I think I’d really rather meet Bob.”